I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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