the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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