how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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