Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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