Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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