Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
