I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
