I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
