My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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