remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
