He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
