Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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