brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
