there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
