You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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