better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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