I didn't shave. On purpose
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
