i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
