Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
