I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
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if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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