I think scott just propositioned me for sex
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Two words: blizzard sex
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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