if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
