whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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