She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Randomize
