I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
