Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
