If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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