Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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