watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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