i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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