I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
