If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
