He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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