I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
