I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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