Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
