The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
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i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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