I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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