took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
