Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
