my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize