No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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