What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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