I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
