i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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