I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
