Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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