omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
