So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
