I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
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