My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
