he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
