Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dicks are not precious.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
