Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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