Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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