she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
