that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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