PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
