I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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