I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
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