I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
