My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
